The Savannah Bananas visited Citizens Bank Park in September and put on a hell of a "bananaball" show.
Because the back flip catches never get old...especially when they're in Citizens Bank Park😎 pic.twitter.com/e5KuGSMOCZ
— Savannah Bananas (@TheSavBananas) September 21, 2024
Bananaball at the Bank looked something like baseball. But there were guys playing on stilts, there were no walks, and batters could steal first base. Players did backflips all over the field. For the Philly show specifically, the Bananas somehow incorporated Eagles plays like the Philly Special and the Brotherly Shove.
If a fan caught a foul ball, the batter was out. The game was capped at a two-hour maximum. And, after a variety of ex-Phillies made cameos in the game, Ryan Howard stepped up to the plate in the ninth because of bananaball's "Golden Batter Rule," which allows a team to send its best hitter to the plate at any critical moment.
And the Golden Batter for the Savannah Bananas tonight is Ryan Howard⭐
What a moment for Party Animals pitcher, Drew Gillespie, to strike out the 3x All-Star, World Series Champ, and NL Rookie of the Year. pic.twitter.com/8fNO9yx1jE
The game was incredibly entertaining.
But the game was not baseball.
Yet.
On Monday, The Athletic's Jayson Stark explored ($) recent remarks that MLB commissioner Rob Manfred made on a podcast, in which Manfred floated an idea straight out of bananaball:
"There are a variety of [rule change ideas] that are being talked about out there," said Manfred. "One of them--there was a little buzz about it in an owners' meeting--was the idea of a Golden At-Bat."
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
First off, no: the column wasn't satire. The MLB commissioner really floated the Golden At-Bat idea out loud, and one of the greatest baseball writers of our time wrote a column seriously assessing the merits of the idea. "[I]t wouldn't be a shock to see the sports test this soon--possibly as soon as . . . next year," wrote Stark, noting that MLB may try the rule in the minors or during the MLB All-Star Game.
"All right, let's think this through," Stark wrote. "How heart-pounding was that Soto at-bat in the ALCS that ended with a homer? How unforgettable was the final at-bat of the 2023 World Baseball Classic, Mike Trout versus Shohei Ohtani?
"They made for mesmerizing baseball theater, right? So if you were designing the sports from scratch, would you want more of those moments or fewer?"
© David Dermer | 2024 Oct 19Well, more special moments, yes. But a huge part of what made those moments special is that they happened organically.
Soto's teammates worked to get Soto to bat in a big spot in the ALCS, for example. He didn't manifest out of the damn ether. And if Soto struck out, he would sit down. He wouldn't get "Golden At-Batted" right back to the plate for a do-over.
Another aspect of baseball's most memorable moments? They are rare. If the game's superstars start popping up at the plate in every critical situation, sure, there will be more dramatic moments. But they will be watered-down, not nearly as special as they are now.
Other probable ramifications:
- Fewer big moments from unlikely heroes. Remember when Kody Clemens hit a ninth-inning, two-out home run against the Nationals to tie up a game in Philadelphia? It was electric. It was real. And it wouldn't have happened if the Phillies had the option to teleport Bryce Harper to the plate.
KODY CLUTCH#RingTheBell pic.twitter.com/8BYbtadUEB
- Comparing statistics and players across different eras, already a challenge, would become impossible. Many superstars would get an extra 100+ at-bats each year. Home run records would get tossed out the window. Most hits, most walks, most RBI... baseball would soon have new all-time leaders in every category. All because batting orders went the way of the dodo.
- How about the beautiful strategic choices inherent to the game we love? Righty/lefty matchups, bunts, walks. Oh, they intentionally walked Kyle Schwarber? Let's see if the next guy can punish the opposition for the lack of respect.
But wait! Never mind. Schwarber now returns to the batter's box, brandishing a golden bat, while Schwarber is also somehow on first base or maybe replaced by a Golden Runner.
(Unclear if the bat would actually look golden, but if we're gonna get nuts, then c'mon, let's get nuts.)
Stark asked Phillies pitcher Matt Strahm about the potential rule for his Athletic piece:
"I wouldn't like that," said Strahm. "Nah, that messes with baseball history too much. I don't like that one. Say you have a guy like Craig Kimbrel, who is going to be chasing 500 saves. Then he's got to do it against Aaron Judge and Juan Soto for every save? Nah. That's not right."
Thank the baseball gods for Matt Strahm, voice of reason.
Recent MLB rule changes have proved successful. The pitch clock, for example. Or getting rid of the shift. Most fans and players are fine with a National League DH. And maybe it's time for replay review of ball/strike calls, or even fully automated strike zones.
But those ideas tinker at the periphery of the game. The Golden At-Bat rule would go right to the heart of it.
"Let's just play six innings and do a Home Run Derby for the last three," joked the Dodgers' Freddie Freeman when Stark asked him about the idea. And there's a lot of truth in that joke. The effects of eliminating the true baseball lineup would be seismic, more like changing the number of strikes for a strikeout or getting rid of second base.
Would it be more exciting to give Soto 12 strikes to work with? Sure.
Would it be baseball? Absolutely not.
Major League Baseball has its flaws, but it's a terrific product with a long and storied history. There's no need to turn it into bananaball.
