Grey Cubano personal traumal led to what he believes will be his life's work.
The 26-year-old Vineland native enjoyed simple pleasures growing up, from reading graphic novels and young adult books to singing and performing in theater.
His moved around Atlantic County when he was 9, Cubano graduated from Pleasantville High School in 2017.
Cubana started his college career studying baking and pastry at Atlantic Cape Community College the next year.
While life as a college student gave the appearance of moving in the right direction, a dark and painful truth always was in the background.
“When I was 17 years old, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder because I was sexually abused by a family member for most of my childhood," Cubano said. "When I was 17, I chose to leave my home because it was too triggering for me to be in the house. I also had no idea what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.”
A year into the baking and pastry program, Cubano realized it was not the right fit for him academically.
He was using baking — along with alcohol and an 18-credit semester — as a coping mechanism to help deal with his past trauma. Change was needed.
“One day during my second year I was talking to my therapist about how I did not feel that baking and pastry was a good place for me," he recalled. "She suggested that I go to school for social work instead, that it would be beneficial for me because I am always helping others and that I had a big heart. That Fall Semester I dropped all of my baking and pastry classes and switched my major for social work.”
In March 2019, Cubano would face the most difficult decision of his life when he decided to come out as nonbinary*. Riddled with self-doubt, Cubano struggled over whether he had made the right decision.
“I was scared how my friends, peers and professors were going to treat me," Cubano said. "For most of my life I had denied who I was just to fit someone else's gender ideal. I had denied myself the joy of being authentic and loving myself. When I came out to my friends, they were the most accepting group of people even when some of my family would not accept the person that I am. The professors also accepted me and used my preferred name when talking about me.”
Cubano chose Atlantic Cape right out of high school thanks to its affordability. This decision, in his own words, literally saved his life.
“If I had never enrolled at Atlantic Cape, I think that the direction my life would have taken is me not being here anymore," Cubano said. "Life at Atlantic Cape saved me from the really low times because I had people, professors and friends who cared about me. Atlantic Cape made me realize that I had purpose and that I was destined for bigger things. Atlantic Cape shaped me into the leader that I am today. I was the first transgender president of the Pride Club and club coordinator with the Student Government Association in 2020-21. Atlantic Cape allowed me to grow and figure out who I am today.”
One of the Atlantic Cape professors who played a profound role in Cubano’s development was Social Science Professor Heather Boone.
“My first class I had was Introduction to Sociology with Professor Boone. I failed her class the first time, but she taught me the value of social work. She saw value in me even when I saw no value in myself.”
Boone had glowing praise for her former student.
“Grey utilized his college experience for personal exploration, as much as for formal education," she said. "His courage and openness fostered his own growth, but also paved the way to understanding and compassion within the college community, and certainly in me. He is a great advocate for himself and others. I’m grateful to have gotten to know him.”
After graduating from Atlantic Cape in May 2021, Cubano took a year off from his studies and worked before getting accepted into Rutgers University in 2022 as a Social Work and Gender Studies major under the Garden State Guarantee, which entirely funded all of his undergraduate studies at Atlantic Cape and Rutgers.
While at Rutgers, Cubano interned with Youth Consultation Services, where he coordinated multidisciplinary treatment team meetings, organized community-based and in-facility programming, maintained regular contact with parents and care management organizations, and provided direct support to LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent youth, using developmentally informed, trauma-responsive, and strengths-based interventions to foster emotional, social, and behavioral growth.
Grey Cubano hugs Professor Donna Marie McElroy at the 2021 commencement. (Atlantic Cape Community College) Cubano graduated from Rutgers last year Summa Cum Laude with a 3.9 GPA. He received the Gender Studies Award and the James M. Gaffney Memorial Award, which honors the memory of Jim Gaffney, a student life counselor from 1976-1992, and is presented to a student who has achieved success despite a disability.
Cubano was accepted into the University of Pennsylvania’s Advanced Standing Master of Social Work Program in April, with a partial scholarship as part of a 15-student cohort.
Cubano is currently a Clinical Social Work Intern at Penn Presbyterian Medical Center, supporting older adult patients through comprehensive psychosocial assessments, discharge planning, and coordination of post-acute services to promote safe transitions of care. He is also a candidate for the LGBTQ+ certificate program at Penn, which is the only university to have a certificate in LGBTQ+ for their Master of Social Work program.
“My work is firmly rooted in trauma-informed practice, prioritizing emotional safety, choice, collaboration, and empowerment for individuals with complex histories," Cubano said. "I know this degree will prepare me to be able to get into social work and allow me to work with LGBTQ+, Neurodivergent and individuals to have been through trauma by giving back to my community.”
Cubano’s life experiences have taught him invaluable lessons and given him insight into how best to help others overcome their lived traumas.
“If I were to give advice to someone who has been through what I have been through, I would tell them that it will get better," he said. "People who experience trauma have been through horrific things, but working through it can make you be a stronger person. The person that I was almost 10 years ago is not the same person that I am today. Yes, we have good days and bad days, but finding a good support system is crucial.”
Cubano has a dream rooted in lived experiences and helping others realize that they are not alone.
“I would love to make an impact on LGBTQ+ youth that have stories like mine. My story is not very different from others in this community and that is a sad reality," he said. "I would like to bridge the gap that both of these communities' face. I just want to be the role model that transgender students can look up to in the field of social work. I think that I can make a difference and I hope to do that for someone else.”
Story by Atlantic Cape Community College
*Grey Cubano accepts they or him as pronouns.
